


The Other Sunshine(English Version)

by Nicolle_Midnight



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicolle_Midnight/pseuds/Nicolle_Midnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin has always been Brian's Sunshine.  Gus finds one of his own.</p><p> This story is dedicated to Rafael.</p><p>I want to thank Predec2 for her beautiful translation and for all her help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Other Sunshine(English Version)

**Author's Note:**

> Justin has always been Brian's Sunshine. Gus finds one of his own.
> 
> "You must love people like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause if you stop to think, actually there really isn't." Pais e Filhos. Renato Russo (Legião Urbana)
> 
> This story is dedicated to Rafael.
> 
> Translation by Predec2.

You Will Always Be the Light of My Life

 

Pittsburgh, September 2006

 

"Daddy, I'm tired. I want to go home!"

 

I eyed my son sympathetically. "Sonny Boy, we'll leave soon," I promised him. "But it'll be just a little longer. You know Grandpa Carl is sick, and Justin's talking to your Grandma Debbie."

 

"Why is Grandpa Carl sick?"

 

I knelt down next to him as I told him gently, "Sometimes people get sick, and that's when we need to show them how much we love them by giving them all the support that we can." Brian had to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat as he briefly relived that time in his life when he had been seriously ill. He knew how important having support could be, because if it hadn't been for Justin, he wasn't sure if he would have gotten through his cancer as well as he had.

 

 

Gus scrunched up his nose. "But it smells like everyone's sick!" 

 

 

"That's because there're many patients here, Gus. I don't like hospitals, either, but Grandma Debbie needed you, me, and Justin here with her. Sorry about that, Sonny Boy." 

 

Gus reached up to place one, small hand against his father's cheek. "It's okay, Daddy; I love Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Carl. And since you said they needed help, I want to help, too." 

 

Brian gazed at him affectionately; the pride evident in his voice as he replied, "Good boy! That's my Sonny Boy!" He ruffled his son's hair as he asked him, "Did you finish your lunch?" His son nodded affirmatively as he told him, "Let's take the elevator back to Grandpa Carl's room, then. Justin should be waiting there for us." 

 

"Okay, Daddy," as Brian reached to take his hand and lead him out of the cafeteria. 

 

 

Soon, the two arrived at the oncology floor of the hospital and went straight to the room where Carl Horvath was hospitalized. He had been diagnosed with prostate cancer two months ago and had just undergone surgery. The doctors were optimistic that with chemotherapy, the detective would soon recover. Despite hating hospitals for obvious reasons, Brian and Justin's abhorrence regarding them had been overridden by their need to support Debbie during this difficult time. 

 

As they walked down the hallway, Brian observed Justin talking with Debbie in the surgery waiting room and could not help feeling his heart jump for joy every time he saw the blonde, even though it had only been approximately twenty minutes since he and Gus had gone down to the hospital cafeteria to grab a bite to eat. 

 

Brian hugged his husband as he gave him a kiss on the top of his head, while his son ran into the arms of his grandmother Debbie, who appeared haggard and tired.

 

 

"Hang in there, Deb," Brian told her softly. "The doctors said Carl should make a full recovery." 

 

Debbie smiled over at him gratefully. "I know," she replied. "But I'm Italian; worrying is an inbred trait." 

 

"Debbie, Brian's right," Justin told her. "You're exhausted. Why don't you go on home? We'll stay here until Ben and Michael arrive. If there's any change at all in Carl's condition, one of us will be sure to call you." 

 

"Thanks, Sunshine," she murmured. "But I can't go home yet. I'm not leaving until Carl wakes up from his surgery, and I'm sure he'll be okay." 

 

Justin nodded. "Then we'll stay with you," he decided as she nodded back at him thankfully. 

 

Brian listened to the exchange without surprise. Why did he have to marry someone who was always willing to do what was best for others, even if it was difficult for him to do it? He knew the answer to that, though. Justin hated hospitals. The environment was agonizing for him. But he would do anything for Debbie and, truthfully, he would, too. He couldn't leave this woman here alone. Ben and Michael had travelled to Toronto a few days ago to assist Mel and Lindsay in moving back home to Pittsburgh; the least, then, that he and Justin could do was stay here and support the woman who had always been more of a mother to him this his own had been.

 

 

When he had spoken to Michael earlier in the day, he had indicated to him that he and Ben would come by sometime this afternoon after they had helped Mel and Lindsay settle in at their new home. Carl's surgery had been scheduled for a few weeks now, and the outcome looked quite promising. Now, as they waited for Carl to wake up, Brian knew he and Justin would remain there with her until her son and son-in-law arrived. There was no other decision that could - or should - be made. 

 

Gus sat in one of the padded, vinyl chairs nearby, swinging his legs back and forth. Gus's attention span was short, and he was quickly growing restless. Brian gazed over at him in understanding, knowing that hospitals were not exactly the best places for children. But Debbie had expressed a desire to see her dearest grandson, and neither he nor Justin could deny her the request. 

 

"Dad, can I play in the park?" was the unexpected question.

 

Brian and Justin exchanged an amused look as Brian told his son gently, "There is no park here, Sonny Boy."

 

 

Justin spoke up. "Actually, Brian, there is a children's activity room down the hall close to the children's ward that has all sorts of toys in it. I saw it earlier when I walked by. It's staffed by medical personnel, so it would be safe to leave him there for a while if you wanted to." 

 

Gus's eyes lit up with excitement. "Yay! Can I go, Daddy? Please? Justin, tell him it's okay," he implored as he turned to look at his 'second' father. "I promise I'll be good." 

 

 

Brian shook his head in amusement. Gus knew exactly who to go to when his father needed some persuasion.

 

"I don't know, Gus...," Brian began as he looked into the pleading eyes of his son. He sighed in defeat. "All right, you can go. But be careful, and keep your voice down in there, okay? Justin and I will be right down the hall, so we'll hear you if you're not using your 'quiet' voice," he reminded him. 

 

Gus jumped down from the chair as he danced back and forth lightly on his feet in anticipation. "Okay!" he agreed, smiling from ear to ear as he turned to run toward the recreation area.

 

"Don't run, Gus!" Justin called after him quietly, watching Gus taking off in a sprint. 

 

Gus must have heard Justin, because he did slow down somewhat as he reached the brightly-painted room. As he looked inside, however, it was with some dismay that he realized there were no balance beams, slides, or seesaws there, only puzzles, games, blocks and dolls. He noticed only one other child in the room, along with a couple sitting in some chairs next to him.

 

He approached hesitantly, observing the blond-haired boy putting a puzzle together of Batman, his favorite comic book character. Excited now, he smiled and pulled a chair up next to the other boy, picking up a piece as he tried to find a place to fit it in. His smile faded, however, as the other boy turned to look at him angrily. 

 

"Hey, this puzzle is mine!" the other boy growled. 

 

Gus's face fell. "But ..."

 

"Connor, that's very rude!" The woman, who seemed to be his mother, sternly replied. "First of all, the puzzle is the hospital's, not yours. And even if it were yours, he can't hurt it. You can't break a puzzle. What have I taught you about sharing, young man?" 

 

 

"But, Mom," the boy protested. 

 

Hearing the other boy's name, Gus decided to try and reason with him. "Connor, can I put the puzzle together with you? I LOVE Batman!" he told him as he smiled brightly over at the other boy, who appeared to be a little younger than he. "I'm good at puzzles," he added, hoping that would help the other boy to change his mind. "Okay? We can get it done a lot faster if we work together." 

 

 

Using the Kinney charm on this other boy appeared to be effective as Connor bit his lip briefly before he finally nodded in agreement. "Okay...I guess you can play with me." 

 

The two wound up working on two other puzzles together that day in addition to Batman: a Superman and a Spiderman puzzle. As Connor's parents sat several feet away later, reading magazines or talking quietly on their cellphones, the boys worked on coloring some drawings of their superheroes out of one of the room's coloring books. As Gus studied Connor with his shiny, blond hair, he decided that he reminded him of his other Dad, and that he needed a nickname for his new friend. Peering over at him thoughtfully, he watched as Connor picked up a blue crayon to fill in Superman's cape. 

 

"What is it, Gus?" Connor asked him then, noticing his friend quietly staring over at him. 

 

 

"Connor, I can call you Sunshine?"

 

 

Connor scrunched up his nose in confusion. "Sunshine? Why?" 

 

"Cause you hair is yellow like the sun, and you look like my Daddy Justin. My father and Grandma Debbie call him Sunshine. But he's my father's Sunshine. Would you like to be MY Sunshine?" 

 

Connor seemed to give it some serious thought for a moment before he finally nodded. "I guess. But I need a nickname for you, too, okay?" 

 

Gus nodded as they returned to their coloring.

 

 

Connor's parents, John and Melissa, quietly watched the two boys, the exhaustion seeping into their bones and their eyes red-rimmed. The boys were so engrossed in their play that neither one noticed the arrival of a third person in the room; that is, not until Connor's mother let forth with a desperate, keening sound of anguish. 

 

"No!" she was saying. "My son...he's just a baby! No! Why, God?" she wailed softly. As the doctor turned to speak to her husband, Melissa composed herself as best she could before she walked over to the two wide-eyed boys; they had no idea what was going on, but they could tell how upset she was, and it was making them both worried. 

 

 

She knelt down next to her son and swept him up into her embrace, holding onto him tightly. "I love you, Connor," she whispered to him over and over. 

 

 

"I love you, too, Mama," he told her. 

 

Gus watched the scene in confusion, looking over to see Connor's father crying softly as well. Feeling overwhelmed and scared by all the commotion, he suddenly felt the need to go and find his fathers. Scooting back from his chair, he whispered, "Goodbye, Sunshine," before he quickly turned and walked out the door.

 

"When someone loves you, the way they speak your name is different." ~Billy, four years old.

 

 

Pittsburgh, December 2006

 

Gus jiggled his feet nervously as he sat in one of the game room's chairs, having come back to the hospital with his Daddy Justin to visit his Grandpa Carl who had required some follow-up surgery. Despite being back in such a boring place, though, he was actually quite excited today. 

 

 

He had told all of them about the young boy he had befriended earlier, but he had not quite figured out why his new friend had been there in the first place. Only Justin, his father, and his Grandma Debbie had been able to deduce through Gus's retelling of what had happened that day - and the fact that the other boy had been in the oncology wing of the hospital - why he had actually been there, and even though Justin had noticed earlier how animated Gus was about possibly seeing his friend again, he couldn't help feeling deep sadness inside; no child deserved to suffer from cancer so early in life. 

 

But now as he sat there waiting, Gus was starting to worry that his friend wouldn't be coming to the play room; it had been a long time since he had gotten there - when he had arrived, the "big hand" had been on the three, and now it was on the twelve. 

 

 

As a nurse walked in to set something down on the desk near the front of the room, Gus scurried up to her and gave her uniform a tug from below. She smiled down at him as she asked, "Did you need something, Sweetie?" 

 

He looked up at her with his expressive, brown eyes as he asked, "Do you know if Connor is coming here today?"

 

"Do you know Connor's last name?" she asked him.

 

 

Gus shook his head. "No. But his hair is yellow, and his eyes are blue."

 

 

She smiled at the description. "Well, we do have a Connor here in this wing. I can take you down there to see him if you want to check to see if it's your friend." 

 

Gus bit his lip in indecision. "I want to, but I have to ask my dad first."

 

She nodded. "I think that would be a good idea. Where is he? I'll go with you." 

 

 

Gus took off at a run as the nurse held onto his hand, almost tugging her along impatiently until he reached a room halfway down the hall where Carl was resting after his latest surgery. The man was sleeping as Gus rushed into the room, out of breath. 

 

"Daddy Justin? This lady says she knows where Connor is. He's not in the play room," he reported to him. 

 

The nurse explained, "Well, Sir, there is Connor here in the wing that might be the friend that he's looking for. I told him I could take him down there - if it's okay with you." 

 

Justin glanced over at Carl, seeing that he was resting comfortably, as he peered over at Gus. Was it a good idea for him to see this other child? He had no idea what condition he was in. But Gus seemed very intent on meeting his friend again. "You sure you wanna go see him, Gus?" he asked as the boy shook his head vigorously.

 

"Yeah! I want to see him again! He's my friend!" 

 

 

Justin sighed, hoping he was making the right decision. "All right. But I'll go with you," he told him as he rose from his chair, deciding it was best he come, too. He reached to grasp the boy's hand as they followed the nurse out of the room and down the hallway toward the oncology pediatric ward at the far end. 

 

 

As she pushed the door to open it, Justin discovered there were six beds set up in a large room for children; at present only four of them were occupied. Gus immediately surveyed the room for his friend before he spied Connor at the far end. A smile of delight broke out on his face as he immediately rushed over to him and swept the other boy up into a tight hug. 

 

"Gus, be careful with your friend!" Justin admonished him softly as he hurried to catch up with him. He gently disentangled Gus from the other boy as he stood with him next to the child's bed. 

 

 

Connor's face broke out into a smile. "Hi, Gus!"

 

Gus beamed as he looked up at his other father. "See, Daddy Justin? He remembers me!" He turned to the other boy to say, "Hi, Sunshine!" 

 

 

Justin looked over at Gus, startled, as the boy explained to Connor, "This is Daddy Justin, my father's Sunshine. Remember what I told you before about him?" 

 

Justin appeared a little embarrassed as he turned to the man and woman sitting by the other side of the bed. "Hi, I'm Justin Taylor. I'm Gus's father's husband," he explained, hoping that didn't sound too weird. He waited for a possible disgusted expression to appear on either one of their faces, but to his satisfaction all he saw was a polite smile instead. "I'm sorry to intrude. But Gus was wanting to see Connor again..."

 

Melissa interrupted. "I know...Connor, too," she told him with a smile. She reached over to shake Justin's hand. "I'm Melissa Collins, and this is my husband, John." Justin nodded over at the other man as she explained, "I'm so glad your son decided to come and visit Connor. He hasn't stopped talking about his new friend, Gus, ever since they first met, not even for a minute. Every day since he's been here, he's gone down to the playroom looking for him," she said with a laugh. 

 

Connor suddenly exclaimed, "I came up with a nickname for you!" he told Gus excitedly. "You're going to be 'Moonshine,' because if I'm the light of the sun, you're the light of the moon.'

 

Gus beamed. "I like it!" he decided. "Isn't that beautiful, Justin?" he asked as Justin nodded, feeling tears prickling the back of his eyes. 

 

 

"Yes, Gus, it's a beautiful nickname." 

 

"Look, Sunshine!" Gus told his friend as he tugged off his backpack that he had been carrying and unzipped it. "I have some chips. Do you want some?" 

 

Justin looked over at John and Melissa uncertainly. "Uh, Gus, maybe he can't have those..."

 

 

"No, it's okay," Melissa told him with a grateful smile. "He loves chips." The adults watched in amusement then as Gus pulled open the small bag and shared the snack with his new friend. 

 

 

"Love is when you go out to eat and he offers his crisps to you without waiting for you to ask for them." ~ Chrissy, six years old.

 

Pittsburgh, February 2008

 

Gus hopped up and down excitedly, holding his ball while he stood next to his bike. Brian held his hand by his side as Justin walked over to greet Connor and his mother who had just pulled up at the park. 

 

The boys had known each other for two years now, and while Connor occasionally had to go to the hospital Gus had gone to visit him as often as he could, especially when he was there for a heavy dose of chemotherapy. He had also had the chance to visit him often at his house, and today, Mellissa was dropping her son off at the park while she had some errands to run so he and Connor could engage in some much-needed playtime. 

 

Connor's birthday had been earlier that month, and this was the first time he'd be able to really ride the bike that his parents had given him to him as a gift. As his mother lifted the bike out of the back of the SUV and Connor rushed over to give his friend a hug, it was hard to tell which boy was more excited over seeing the other one. 

 

 

"Thanks for watching him, guys!" she called over to Brian and Justin with a laugh as her son rushed off. "I'll be back in a few hours to get him!" They nodded back at her with a wave as she drove off. 

 

 

"Hey, Moonshine!" Connor exclaimed as he and Gus broke apart. "How about we race with our bikes?" 

 

 

Gus's eyes lit up excitedly as Justin wondered if that was such a great idea. "Maybe you should just ride around and forget about racing each other," he told them, a little worried over Connor's health.

 

 

"Aww, Dad," Gus complained, his lower lip jutting downward in disappointment. 

 

 

"Justin's right, Gus," Brian agreed. "Connor still needs to get used to his new bike. Why don't the two of you ride around on the bike trail over there, instead? It's got hills and everything," he told him with a smile, knowing the 'hills' were merely gentle slopes and nothing approaching what could be called dangerous. 

 

Gus jumped up and down as he ran toward his bike. "Okay! Let's go, Connor!" he told his friend as they donned their helmets and sat astride their bikes. Soon, the both of them were slowly riding away toward the dirt bike path. 

 

Justin watched them fretfully. "Brian, are you sure...?" 

 

He felt Brian's hands slide around his waist from the back as he whispered in his ear, "Let them play, Sunshine. Let's sit down and distract ourselves with something more urgent and more important."

 

Justin grinned in agreement as he turned in Brian's arms to receive a kiss before his husband began to pull him toward the water's bank nearby, Justin sitting on his lap as they resumed their kissing, the two boys' shrieks of carefree laughter and joy filling the air. 

 

 

As Gus and Connor gained confidence, their speed also accelerated. Soon, they were rushing around the trail at a breakneck pace.

 

 

Suddenly, Connor cried out, "Gus, look out!" as a little boy came running across the path in search of a ball that had been thrown to him that he had missed. Gus managed to deftly veer around the boy, but Connor was not as successful as he ended up falling to the ground, bike and all. 

 

Hearing Connor's yelp of pain, Gus turned around and stopped his bike, throwing it onto the ground as he came rushing over to kneel beside his friend. "Did you get hurt?" he asked him worriedly. 

 

Connor nodded. "My knee," he told him as Gus looked down at the skinned-up injury. "Dad! Justin!" he shouted as the two men turned at the sound of his voice and stood up to rush over toward them. Gus leaned down and did the only thing he could think of to help as he blew gently on the injury.

 

"Does that make it better?" he asked as Connor nodded through tear-stained cheeks. So Gus blew on it again.

 

'' Love is when he doesn't laugh because you fell, but gives you a hand and takes care of your injury." ~Katlin, four years old.

 

Pittsburgh, October 2008

 

Justin poked his head into the game room as he asked, "Gus, Connor's mother called to ask if you wanted to go see him at the hospital. Do you want to go?" 

 

"Yeah!" Gus answered in delight as he quickly turned his video game off and ran toward his room to change out of his pajamas. 

 

As they drove to the hospital, Justin constantly shifted his gaze from the road to the little boy in the backseat, his eyes glistening with tears of sadness as he recalled his earlier telephone conversation with Connor's mother. He had grown quite attached to the towheaded little boy, and hated to see the child suffer. 

 

Finally arriving at the hospital a few minutes later, he held onto Gus's hand as they waited somewhat impatiently for the elevator to arrive, taking the car a few minutes later in silence. Two stops later, the car arrived at their destination on the sixth floor.

 

Gus ran - almost jumping - toward the room where he knew Connor was, but as he approached he heard a loud cry. He stopped, suddenly hesitating, as he came to the door, allowing Justin to catch up to him. He took Gus's hand as they slowly entered the room. Once inside, they both saw Connor rushing into the bathroom, and observed his mom crying as she sat on the edge of her child's bed as her husband stroked her back supportively.

 

"How is he?" Justin asked softly as they walked up to her.

 

"He...he's ashamed...and angry," she told Justin, her eyes glistening with tears. 

 

 

"He ran into the bathroom as soon as you got here," John told them, his voice cracking and his eyes red.

 

Gus looked down on the tiled floor of the room, noticing several strands of blond hair lying there. He wondered if Sunshine had had a haircut while he had been in the hospital.

 

He walked over to the bathroom door and knocked on it to call out, "Connor?"

 

"I don't want to see you!" was the muffled reply. "I'm ugly and I'm bald!"

 

Gus laughed at that absurd notion. "You could never be ugly, Sunshine, and you're not bald!" he told him.

 

"Yes, I am!" he insisted. "I want my hair back! Stop laughing at me!" he yelled before he broke into sobs, causing Gus to frown as he immediately stopped laughing. His friend was upset, and he had to do something...

 

"Justin, I'll be back!" he suddenly shouted as he turned around and ran out of the room. Justin rushed over to the door, just in time to see Gus hurrying over to the hospital's public, one-stall restroom nearby as the boy opened the door and closed it behind him. Figuring Gus urgently had to go to the bathroom, he stood in the doorway keeping watch out for him while he was gone. 

 

Gus entered the bathroom and put the backpack he was carrying down on the counter. On tiptoe, he opened it and took out the paper and pencil he had brought with him for Connor to play with. After a few seconds of digging around inside the backpack, he finally located the safety pair of scissors and pulled them out. 

 

He held a swath of his dark hair between his fingers as he took a snip. Again. And then, once more. And then again, and again, until all of his hair just below his ears was cut off and he was sporting a jagged, very short haircut. 

 

 

Putting the scissors, pencil and paper back into his backpack and pulling it on, he scooped up all the loose hair on the floor into his hands and, using his elbow to open the bathroom door, he hurried back toward Connor's room, hearing him now crying on the bed.

 

 

Justin stared at Brian's son agape as he looked at the little boy's head. "Gus! What in the world...?" But Gus simply ignored him as he rushed back into the room.

 

He held his hands out to his friend, the dark brown clumps of hair cradled in his palms. "Here, Sunshine," he told his friend. "I know it's darker than your hair, but we can get a can of yellow paint and then paste it onto your head, and then you'll have your hair back."

 

For the first time, Connor smiled as Justin and his parents, watching the tender scene before them, silently wept over the heartfelt gesture.

 

"It was when she hid because I was without hair, and I said no to love only physically but spiritually, because we do not love a body but a soul." ~Gabriel Giovanna, seven to nine years old. (National Cancer Institute - Rio de Janeiro / Brazil)

 

 

Pittsburgh, March 2016 - Gus's Bedroom

 

"Oh, come on, Sunshine... It's just a party!"

 

Connor sighed. "Gus, I hate parties and, in addition, I will only slow you down." 

 

 

"What are you talking about, you asshole? How will you slow me down?" 

 

Connor ticked off the reasons on his fingers. "I can't drink and I can get sick at any time, so no girl will want to be with me, which means that you will feel guilty about leaving me alone to keep some other girl company."

 

Connor could have sworn then that he could see Gus blush. "Yeah," he mumbled. "We need to talk about that."

 

"About my slowing you down?" 

 

Gus shook his head. "No...About the girls."

 

"Don't try to convince me that it won't happen, Gus. You know it will." 

 

 

Gus rolled his eyes and put his head in his hands, just like he always did when he was nervous.

 

"If girls can't see you for the great guy that you are, Connor, then it's their loss. No, that's not what I'm talking about at all." 

 

Connor eyed him curiously. "Then what?"

 

Gus let out an anxious breath. "I..., uh...I don't like girls," he finally mumbled as he averted his eyes. 

 

Connor frowned. "What do you mean, you don't like girls? I don't get it." His eyes widened then in realization as he asked his friend, "Y-you mean...?" 

 

Gus nodded as he lifted his eyes to peer over at his friend. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I'm gay." He paused for a couple of seconds before he added, "I hope that doesn't change anything between us." 

 

Actually, Gus was insecure, sad and confused. He thought he was sure that he was either gay or at least bisexual. There was also a slight possibility that he wasn't exactly gay, but only in love with one man in particular; in this case, Connor. What further complicated everything, of course, was that Connor was his best friend, and the idea of losing his friendship was simply not acceptable.

 

Connor nodded at last. "Hmm; uh, of course it won't," he reassured him. "I mean, it's okay to be gay..."

 

Gus's face flushed as he took a deep breath to steel himself. "And you, Connor?" he asked softly as he lifted his gaze to peer into his friend's blue eyes.

 

"I...What?"

 

"Do...Do you think you might be gay?"

 

The blonde's eyes widened as his ears turned red.

 

"I-I don't," he found himself stuttering. "Uh, I don't know... Maybe ... Uh...Well..."

 

Gus huffed in exasperation. "Oh, come on! What is it, Sunshine? I'm your friend, man, and I just spilled my guts here and told you that I'm gay. Can't you be honest with me, too?" 

 

 

"Okay, okay!" Connor finally growled. "I-I...Yeah, I'm gay, too." He looked away in embarrassment, covering his hands with his face. 

 

Connor wasn't aware of Gus approaching him until he felt a slight dip in the bed; he jumped in surprise as he felt Gus's hand settle on his left thigh. "Okay...So..."

 

 

Connor slowly opened his eyes, turning his face to peer into Gus's expressive ones, his cheeks still warm with awkwardness as his friend slowly leaned in closer.

 

"Uh...Connor," he whispered. "Can...Can I kiss you, Sunshine?"

 

Connor swallowed hard at the look in Gus's eyes as he licked lips nervously and closed his eyes. Not able to avoid temptation and taking his friend's actions as a silent affirmation, Gus slowly leaned in closer and tentatively pressed his lips to the other boy's, noticing how soft and warm they were. It was a brief, light kiss as he pulled back slightly after a few seconds to peer into his friend's now-open eyes in silent question. Connor gave him a slight smile this time as he placed his hands on either side of his friend's head and pulled him in for another kiss, one that quickly escalated into something more passionate. Their tongues began to explore each other's mouths with slowly increasing ardor as Gus realized with a certain sense of satisfaction that this must be the first time Connor had ever kissed another man. 

 

Pulling back after several seconds to catch their breaths, they dove back in to kiss anew. Instinctively, Gus gently but firmly pushed Connor down onto the bed, bracing his body with his arms as he hovered over him. They smiled at each other before they began kissing again. 

 

"Love is not when you deliver a rose, but when you give your heart, as the heart is life, and life is their love." ~Wendel, six years old; Isabel, five years old.

 

Pittsburgh, April 2031

 

Gus walked slowly, the light raindrops falling on his face. He should have gotten here earlier, but eventually he had come at the last minute, having to be at the airport in two hours to return to Manhattan. Of course, he knew he couldn't go back to Manhattan without visiting Connor first; that was not an option. 

 

 

He walked a few more steps along the all-too-familiar path before stopping in front of the grave of his Sunshine. On the marker, under the traditionally inscribed name and dates, were the words "Forever Sunshine," a phrase that perfectly matched the blonde that had been so full of life.

 

Connor had died ten years ago after dating Gus for almost six years. After burying his beloved, Gus had graduated from law school and had become a partner with his father, Brian, who had moved to New York to open up a new location for Kinnetik. Despite living in the Big Apple now, though, he always made sure to return to Pittsburgh on special occasions - the day he had first met Connor, the day they had first started dating, his birthday, and the day he had died. When he was too busy to come, he would call the cemetery to make sure the caretaker would place Connor's favorite flower on his grave: Saffron Crocuses, along with the letters "YAATLOML," a highly personal acronym that only he and Connor knew and had understood that meant "You are always the light of my life." 

 

 

Connor's mother, Melissa, had died of a stroke two years ago and, since then, her husband John had retired and had locked himself inside the house, leaving only when it was necessary. Whenever he came into town, Gus would go to Connor's home to visit his lover's father and to relive old memories, invariably ending up sleeping in Connor's old bedroom, which had been left untouched since his death. 

 

 

As for him? His parents were still together. His father had expanded Kinnetik into several major cities, resulting in his advertising agency becoming the largest in the country and Gus being assigned control of the New York office. Justin had become a world-renowned painter with his works exhibited in the most prestigious galleries worldwide. His two mothers also were still together. Mel now had her own law firm, successfully winning most of her cases and developing a highly-esteemed reputation as a dogged pursuer of justice. His other mother, Lindsay, was a respected artist's representative, able to boast that she had one of the most sought-after artists under her management now (Justin). 

 

 

His sister JR had gotten married five years ago to Thomas, one of the lawyers working with Mel, and was now pregnant with her first son. Michael and Ben were still together and happy. His grandfather, Carl, had died in a car accident a little over a year after Connor had passed way, leaving Gus devastated for a while over the double loss. His grandmother Debbie was now living in Florida with Hunter, who was like an uncle to him; he visited them whenever he could.

 

Gus refused to date anyone else for several months after Connor had died, because his mind just could not accept the possibility that he could possibly love another person who was not Connor. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He HAD fallen in love ultimately with Diana, a little girl he had adopted two years ago. His father had abandoned her when her mother had died of cancer, and she had no close relatives. As Gus was in the habit of visiting cancer hospitals from time to time, he frequently saw Diana going to visit her mother when she had been admitted for treatment, and ended up befriending her in the same playroom where Connor had been. When he heard about her mother's death and how she had been abandoned with nowhere to go, he had not hesitated to apply for adoption. To his immense delight and relief, his petition had ultimately been approved, and even though he was not her biological father, the little girl had quickly grew to accept him as her true father and their love grew deeper each day that they were together. She was a constant joy in his life, and helped to ease the burden of losing Connor.

Diana knew a bit about him - at least what she could understand - and she always came to visit him with her father whenever she could. 

 

Gus knew he would never forget Connor, because he had loved him in so many ways - as a best friend, a brother, a partner, a lover, and of course, as a man. He knew, too, that he would never take the engagement ring off his finger that he had exchanged with Connor during their first year of dating. He intended to give Connor's ring to Diana when she grew up so she would understand the importance of joining two people together who loved each other unconditionally.

 

"We're like honeysuckle while winding around the branch of hazel: once attached to each other, both together can last forever, but if they want to separate the honeysuckle dies soon and so does the hazel. Such is our case: neither you without me, nor I without you! ~Excerpt from Tristan and Isolde

**Author's Note:**

> These phrases are written by children about love, and the last is one in particular is one that I know they will understand.


End file.
